Welcome back to the round-up of the shittiest 11 players you are likely to see being reviewed on an Fantasy Premier League blog. The purpose of the FPL Shithouse XI is to finish bottom of the pile and I’ve been working hard, unlike my 15 players, to reach that nirvana. When van Aanholt scored that goal and then kept a clean sheet I feared the worst for my team but the commitment from the other lads was second to none as a result, another 28k drop was observed.
Goalkeeper
Ruddy – At last, some returns from the Norwich keeper as he conceded to Arsenal. He’s still on my watch list however as Norwich have been surprisingly strong at the back.
Defence
Huth – Another 2 points from the German in a very tight game against Man United solidified his under threat place in the team.
Bassong – Captain Bassong conceded far too fewer goals and as a result, his miserable 4 point score was not so miserable.
Hutton – This guy gets better as he has managed to improve last week’s score of zero with a minus posting, brilliant.
Cook – Picked up an injury but it’s not thought to be serious so ended up on zero points!
van Aanholt – Last week saw a rare Sunderland clean sheet and this week the same thing happened! To compound the misery he scored too! He is definitely on monitor!
Total defensive points – 20!
Midfield
Cattermole – Another 3 pointer from Lee is not good enough. I’ve had a word and he has assured me this won’t happen again!
Sánchez – Villa scored 2 and Carlos was on the pitch for 90 minutes yet the only award he got was a yellow card, top bloke!
Strikers
Rooney – This gamble is really paying off. England’s ‘best’ striker has got 2 points per game for the last 4 he has played.
Ayew – New boy comes and scores, what a twat.
Okazaki – Came off the pitch after 59 minutes so didn’t even get the standard appearance points! Lucky boy!
So here is this week’s line-up:
Transfers
Coquelin -> Noble
The injured Coquelin makes way for Mark Noble but fear not 3C fans (Cattermole, Colback & Coquelin), he will be back.
Captain – My captain this week will be my hero, Lee Cattermole. He gives everyone who has a 9 to 5 hope of becoming a Premier League star.
Written by Matty Kaye
