Welcome again to the team that endeavours to work at 50% (or less!), scrap at football matches, pass to the opposition and shoot at the crowd, ladies and gentlemen, the FPL Shithouse XI are here again. In a week where many key players didn’t turn up the 11 that I picked didn’t shock either and put in a collective score of 20 points, that’s right TWO ZERO. With this came a return of the Fantasy Premier League red arrows after a blip last week and a fantastic rank of 3,404,993. With new teams still being created every week, it is becoming difficult to reach the bottom; therefore I am drawing a line in the sand to say the bottom threshold I am working towards is 3,600,000, the rough figure as of gameweek 4. This puts me in the top 94% going into gameweek 17!
Goalkeeper
Schmeichel – Thanks to Chelsea scoring a consolation goal on Monday night my team score remained very respectable. 2 points from the Leicester keeper.
Defence
Huth – A single point from the big German resulted in his 5th yellow card of the season meaning he’s suspended for next week. Brilliant Robert, well played!
Bassong – Last week’s captain failed to impress the masses as he picked up a miserable 2 points which is delight at Shithouse HQ.
Hutton – Hutton’s past 4 games 0 -1 1 1, now that is what I call form!
Cook – After recovering from last week’s injury he came through with another 2 pointer.
van Aanholt – After some shaky appearances for Patrick he rewarded me with a home defeat to Watford, which came with 2 points as well!
Total defensive points – 10!
Midfield
Captain Colback – Even though his team did well at the weekend, Jack made the most of the referees pocket and picked up another yellow card, not far off his next ban!
Sánchez – Arguably one of the worst footballers I have ever seen play professional football, and I’m a Leeds fan! 2 points.
Noble – Another steady 3 points from the West Ham general is not how I saw this panning out! Start collecting yellow or you’re out Mark!
Strikers
Ayew – Predictably Pathetic as Aston Villa yet again fail to score at home, just my type of player, 2 points.
Okazaki – Played 3 minutes and we all know why, he’s proper shit!
Transfers
2 FT this week so it’s time to get rid of Ruddy who becomes Rudd along with Rooney who is injured. Don’t worry though, he will return!
Ruddy -> Rudd
Rooney -> Jerome
Its triple Norwich now as Bassong, Rudd and Jerome all battle it out for consistently low point returns!
I will go with form this week and captain Hutton who is likely to bring home 2 points at worst.
Written by Matty Kaye
