This an absolute dream season for my maiden voyage on the Sh**thouse XI ship. Just when I think my weekly FPL scores can’t get any better, or worse depending on which lens your looking through, it does! I can finally count on two hands the amount of points my set of simpletons actually scored! 7 fingers is all I need as that’s how many points I recorded! With a total of 7 fantasy premier league points, I am now in the bottom 0.6% of all teams that started in gameweek 1. Only one player failed to play too which meant this fabulous score wasn’t a result of all my players being injured. So with a finishing rank of 3,493,740, I am nearing ever closer to that 3.5 million mark!
Goalkeeper
Boruc – A single point again from Artur, which is becoming a standard response from the Bournemouth Keeper.
Defenders
Steven Taylor – Another single point from my Newcastle quota means it was another sucessfull week for him.
Cook – Zero Points, it gets better as Steve concedes 4 goals!
Lescott – Zero again from my first Villa defender, can I ask for much more?
Captain Hutton – YES I CAN, minus 6 from the captain, which is the S**THOUSE equivalent of Triple Captaining Aguero in gameweek 8! Over the moon!
Total Defensive Points – Minus 4!
Midfielders
Yacob – Claudio is again my top scorer with 3 points, I’ll need to have words with him this week…
Coquelin – Okay, joint top scorer as the Arsenal midfield general notches up another 3 points.
Cattermole – Another 3 points means it’s a triple of three’s from my midfield! Letting the side down a bit here, although it could be worse!
Strikers
Ulloa – Keeping up the tradition of super 1 point sub.
Agbonlahor – Failure to play any minutes and no sub available. He theregfore didn’t contribute to my score this week.
Jerome – 6 minutes played, 1 point.
Now onto this weeks team:
Transfers – Its Wildcard week as I want to make sure I only field 15 Bench Boosted players in the big double gameweek next week.
Captain – Wolly, or Wally as I hope his name develops, takes the armband with Liverpool being the hosts.
Good luck all and save those red arrows for me!
Written by Matty Kaye