I simply cannot believe another red arrow arrived in the S**THOUSE XI HQ last week, the 9th in a row having only had one green all season… and that came in gameweek 2! 27 points was the total as the average hit nearly double, leaving our overall rank at a splendid 3,798,529!
Lets talk about how this was achieved before revealing the S**THOUSE XI for this weekend, which will be a warning of all the players you DON’T want.
Gomes (1) – A single for the Watford man, as he allowed Liverpool to score 6 goals past him, SIX!
Barragan (2) – A good result for Boro considering they held City to a draw, yet it was a clean sheet wipeout that was the main factor for my Boro defender.
Kone (2) – Wow, Sunderland actually win a game! Kone did nothing apart from let the losing opposition score; top bloke.
Lowton (1) – A single point for Lowton in a tasty affair against Palace.
Francis (1) – Kone’s counterpart was on the losing side of that game and he also picked up just a point.
Total defensive points – 7!
Coquelin (2) – My vice captain is back having played 64 minutes and picking up just 2 points.
Yacob (2) – Becoming my favourite S**thouse player, Claudio, managed to escape a booking this week but still did nothing else.
Behrami (2) – Was hoping for a yellow card from my new Watford man but unfortunately he just scraped away with a double.
Dier (2) – Captain Eric didn’t let me down. Booked, conceded, and was silent otherwise. 1 point doubled equals 2!
Barry (1) – A point for Barry as he picks up his 5th yellow card meaning he cannot play this weekend. Perfect.
Vokes (11) – The villain of the show. Sam scored and assisted meaning he was the source of nearly half my points. Maybe he has to go!
Bench – Marshall (4) was the only player that played meaning I have serious issues on my bench but as 2 of the players are suspended, it doesn’t matter if I don’t have 15 playing players. Only injuries mean I have to show intent to sell.
Here’s how the S**THOUSE XI look this week:
Transfer – With West Ham’s run of tough fixtures (tot mun ARS liv) and the fact they have injuries in defence, the transfer I will be doing is the non playing Fernandez to Ogbonna.
Captain – Has to be Coquelin in a, hopefully, feisty affair at the early kick off at Old Trafford. Vice goes to my new addition, Ogbonna.
Good luck and remember, save those reds for me!
Written by Matty Kaye