The first weekend of Premier League football in the new year and for some of the big boys in FPL, it was an absolute cracker. With a high average of 52 points, the Shithouse XI would’ve had to put in a real quality performance to get anywhere near that. Unfortunately for them, they didn’t achieve this…
An absolute masterclass in Shithouse defensive displays this week, and a proper Shithouse XI score reflects this. Alexis Sanchez managed to score as many points as this entire line-up did thanks to his fantastic performance against Stoke. Unfortunately for these guys, it means they finished 33 points below the average, a shockingly bad score, and finished just 80,000 off the bottom of all players (all those who are below must be ghostships.) They now sit 1,173rd in the @FPL_Updates league and 160,000 off the bottom of all FPL managers.
Goalkeeper:
Krul – Tim returned from a lengthy spell on the sidelines against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge on the weekend as expected and fortunately for us, he and Newcastle conceded twice in their loss to the Blues. Krul takes a single point for his first game back.
Defenders:
Ward – Joel Ward saw out 90 minutes in Palace’s impressive 2-1 win over Spurs but due to that Kane goal and Joel having nothing to do with the attacking side of things, he finishes with just the 2 points.
Brown – Wes played the full 90 against Liverpool at the Stadium of Light but thanks to a spectacular performance from dream team man Lazar Markovic, the Black Cats lost 1-0 and therefore he brings back 2 points.
Smalling – LvG now has a whole host of players to pick from as Young is now the only player in the physio room. The Dutchman opted to play Chris Smalling and thanks to a spectacular defensive display, Southampton came out on top in this one. No surprise it was only a 1-0 victory as there was only the 1 shot on target in total. Due to losing the clean sheet, Chris finishes the week on 2 points.
Davies – Hull had a trip to The Hawthorns to deal with in gameweek 21 and they came out the worst off as Berahino scored yet another goal and grabbed the win for The Baggies. Like the others in this Shithouse defensive line-up, he suffers due to no clean sheet and he to finishes on 2 points.
Midfielders:
Cleverley – Tomo was part of the Villa squad that travelled to the King Power last weekend and lost thanks to a Konchesky goal. Villa created no produce of their own in terms of goals or a clean sheet and although Cleverley played the full 90, he only finishes the gameweek on 2 points.
Gardner – Craig unfortunately didn’t start the match and only played for 15 minutes in the win against Hull. As expected and as a result of this, he picks up a single point for the Shithouse XI goal tally.
N’Zonzi – Steven played 45 minutes against Arsenal and came off at half time in a double switch for The Potters. He seems to have picked up a groin injury and is a slight doubt for next week. Thanks to his 45 minute cameo, he only picks up a single point too.
Strikers:
Weimann – Our new signing for gameweek 21 failed to deliver the goods and unfortunately wasn’t selected to start the match against Leicester. He came on for 19 minutes but was unable to help his side recover anything from the match, resulting in just a point for Andreas.
Vardy – Jamie is the final player of ours that wasn’t selected for the starting line-up. However, he did come on for 19 minutes and saw out the win against Villa. He too gets a single point for his troubles.
Wickham – Our captain for the week, Connor failed to turn any heads in the loss to Liverpool as he saw out 76 minutes of the match. Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t able to prove us wrong and was a safe bet for us to place the armband with. 4 points to the tally.
GAMEWEEK 22
So we unfortunately had 4 players who didn’t play over 60 minutes in gameweek 21 and this ultimately affected our score. Despite this, 19 points is a great score for the Shithouse XI! Onto gameweek 22…
PLAYER OUT
Cattermole – Lee seems to be struggling with injury lately and should miss out this weekend. In the interest of getting more players playing over 60 minutes, we have decided to drop him for now and bring in someone who will get minutes. Don’t worry Lee, as soon as you’re out of the physio room, you’re back in the team!
PLAYER IN
Livermore – Jake has played 90 minutes in all but 2 of Hull’s Premier League matches this season. That means that is 19 games to date. He currently sits on 47 points which is on average 2.5 points a game. We believe this is shithouse material so we have brought him in. Welcome aboard Jake!
We have given the armband to new boy Livermore as, like the rest have had, he has the chance to prove us wrong. He faces a trip to West Ham which should give him a fair chance of attempting to do so. Good luck Jake!
