Bar the Manchester derby, this gameweek centered around the fight for survival. Many of the bottom half teams played each other in a very exciting weekend of football. This week, the Shithouse XI scored a very impressive 27 points, our lowest for a number of weeks. This points score implicated a significant drop in the overall rank – success! Let’s break down the first team’s individual scores to see how bad they really did:
Above you can see that only two players achieved over 6 points, the rest were like the majority of the public, more interested in whether AP McCoy could become a record breaker at Aintree. AP struggled to shutthefrontdoor, the Shithouse XI defenders didn’t even try and attempt to, they left it wide open. Goals galore.
Green – A valiant effort from the R’s against Mourinho’s lads. A mistake from our man Rob handed Hazard a chance to assist Fabregas in the 88th minute.
Shawcross – The new addition managed an assist and 2 bonus points. This immediate impact enrages us. He has let the rest of his team-mates down on his debut. Shame on you Ryan.
Caulker – Same story as Green, a late winner from Chelsea cancelling out Steven’s clean sheet bonus. Solid point scorer for the Shithouse XI.
Morgan – Wes conceded a goal against another one of our Shithouse XI players. But his team took all three points after 90 minutes. Luckily for us, Albion scored 2 therefore meaning Morgan only picked up 1 point.
O’Shea – Cheers John, I mean this guy could be better than Wes Brown for the Shithouse XI. Wait a minute, when Wes returns from injury, we will have them both in the Shithouse XI. Eat your heart out Mourinho, what a stroke of tactical genius. 0 points.
Gardner – Two weeks ago, Gary recorded a score of 11 points. This gameweek saw another 6 points allocated to our first team regular. This isn’t what we need for the run in, a transfer seems imminent.
Livermore – Hull seem very predictable away from home. Another great performance Jake. 2 points.
N’Zonzi – For a player who seems (or seemed) threatening in front of goal, our Steven offers nothing in the way of goals or assists. Therefore, he is sticking with us.
Jones – Didn’t score, assist or keep a clean sheet. Solid.
Zamora – Bobby, a sceptical call to captain you. But wow you delivered. 2 points to our new captain.
Diouf – Mame looking ever more dangerous these days, it was finger biting stuff at Upton Park. Thankfully, he did absolutely nothing. Haha.
This gameweek has a unusually small amount of teams playing. We have tried to have a starting 11 who are actually playing, but we don’t want to be deducted over 4 points for transfers. The only two players who aren’t playing stem from the same team, QPR. Here’s the team:
Ideye – Out of luck Ideye goes up against a stern Palace defence. We can’t foresee many points for Brown.
Diouf – As I mentioned earlier on, Diouf looks dangerous, too dangerous for us. Bye, man.
Our captain’s armband returns to Jones on a big day away to Everton. Do us proud.