COOK A CAT! My disappointment when Stevie brought back 15 points was inconsolable after a clean sheet from the same prat last week. This cannot continue but to make matters worse, I have 6 flagged players! My FPL S**THOUSE XI scored a very miserable 33 points and even though that was 2 points below the average, the colour of my arrows were that god awful green colour! So with 5 injured players and 1 suspended its time to scrape the barrel. My fantasy Premier League rank rose 3k putting me at, a still respectable, 3.4m. 3,413,846 to be precise. So let’s re-cap the gameweek first before moving onto my gameweek 30 team.
Goalkeeper
Hennessey – 2 points for one of the reliable players in my squad, good job son.
Defenders
Ward – 1 point less than his friend at the back was music to my ears.
Hutton – My man, Alan Hutton. Another point picked up from the Villa liability. Well played.
Cook – Piss off.
Midfielders
Colback – Vice captain duties were put into action with the missing ‘Captain Lucas’ and what a payback with 2 points doubled. Again, good job!
Cattermole – Took a blow 16 minutes in so is now red flagged. 1 point returned.
Coquelin – What the hell! A bonus point for losing 2-1, great system FPL!
Yacob – Reached a yellow card threshold so is now suspended for a couple of games which is a great result for me.
Strikers
Ulloa – This time the super sub wasn’t so super and didn’t manage to find the net, 1 point.
Jerome – You useless S**thouser, you probably couldn’t score if you were in the actual net with the ball! Great performance Cam.
Agbonlahor – Just a couple of points for Gabby was a great comeback into the S**thouse XI.
This week there are some great games on offer and if I implore you to avoid this lot:
Captain – Bacuna which also explains my transfer.
Transfer – Injured Coloccini to Bacuna for my ‘Double Down Villa Duo’.
Good luck all and save those reds for me!
Written by Matty Kaye
