Wildcard played and a score of 41 FPL points was achieved – absolute disaster. I am really struggling to get into the Fantasy Premier League 3 million club but I will soldier on. With goals from Cook and Ighalo and an assist from Gabby Agbonlahor, my plight to success was hampered. Gameweek 6 approaches and its good news for Shithouse XI lovers. We have a host of games that can result in low point hauls including Chelsea v Arsenal and Newcastle vs Watford.
With a total of 41 points and a rank of 2,521,823 I saw a drop of over half a million.
Butland – Conceded again but made 10 saves bringing home 2 more points than planned, he drops to the bench this week.
PvA, Pieters and Bassong – This trio of turd brought home a very satisfying 5 points between them which is 4 less than the other defender in my squad.
Cook – New Boy Cook is relegated to the bench this week as he scored a late consolation goal for Bournemouth resulting in 2 bonus points to boot!
Colback, Cattermole, Coquelin – 5 points between this trio as well, these are my favourite players right now and will not be dropped….ever.
Sanchez – 1 point less than the good one means I can’t complain. As captain his score was doubled equalling a whopping 4 points/
Ighalo – The game was going so well until he scored early in the second half, and being the only scorer meant he picked up 3 bonus points in the process, terrible effort!
Gabby – The big slow piece of shit assisted and 5 points came with it. Bench is calling son…
So here is Gameweek 6’s line-up…
Ighalo (OUT) -> Ayoze (IN) (Newcastle cannot score at all so he is perfect shithouse material!
This week my captain will be Coquelin as I can see a tasty affair at the Bridge in the early kick off.
By Matty Kaye.