SHITHOUSE XI – Gameweek 13

Gameweek 13 is here and transfers now have to be made with future gameweeks in mind due to how many matches are packed into December. Some interesting fixtures lie ahead and we have tweaked our Shithouse XI in order to get a playing starting XI to get an even lower points tally than ever before…

Shithouse XI gameweek 12 points

In gameweek 12, these guys managed a total of 30 points, largely thanks to the efforts of Wes Brown and Mile Jedinak of all players! They are now ranked 3.2 millionth out of 3.4m which is an impressive feat as well as being placed close to rock bottom in the @FPL_Updates league at rank 1,119.


Green – Rob made a total of 5 saves whilst also completing the full 90 minutes but his efforts were not enough to stop Newcastle continuing their fighting comeback. He finishes the week on 3 points.


Smalling – United saw out a win against Arsenal at the Emirates but thanks to a late stunner from Giroud on his return, United were unable to leave North London with a clean sheet and therefore Chris returns 2 points.

Ward – Palace put in a fantastic performance against Liverpool despite the hiccup in the first 2 minutes. However, that Liverpool goal proved costly to Ward’s points haul as he finishes the gameweek on just 2 points.

Davies – Curtis and Hull had a tough fixture against Spurs at the KC but they were unable to avoid defeat and their struggling run of results goes on. To rub salt in the wounds, Spurs scored 2 goals which means Davies drops to a single point for the gameweek.

Brown – Sunderland & Leicester saw out a 0-0 and therefore a clean sheet each means 4 additional points for their defenders. Wes finishes the week on a nice 6 points.


Cattermole – Lee played the full 90 minutes at the King Power and due to the 0-0, he scores an extra bonus for the clean sheet. Unfortunately, he received his unexpected yellow card and forfeited that point, resulting in the standard 2 points for playing.

Cleverley – Tom was part of the MNF fixture against Southampton which finished 1-1. As Tom was not involved in the goal and his team were unable to maintain a clean sheet, he too finishes on just 2 points.

N’Zonzi – Steven is keeping up the good work as he only scored the 2 points for appearing against Burnley. Burnley have now put 2 wins together which must be a boost for team morale.

Jedinak – Mile ruins the low scoring week once again with a sublime free-kick to seal the win against Liverpool. He has now doubled his entire goal tally from last season already and we haven’t even entered gameweek 13 yet. He finishes the week on a strong 7 points.


Nugent – We seem to be having a bit of a mare with our striking options as Nugent seems to be out of favour lately. He hasn’t completed 90 minutes combined in the last 3 matches and our captaincy choice completely backfired as he only played 19 minutes in gameweek 12, resulting in a single point doubled into 2 points.

Jutkiewicz – Lukas is suffering from a very similar scenario as he too has not completed a full 90 minutes over the last 3 gameweeks combined. He played for a total of 31 minutes in gameweek 12 giving him a score of 1 point.


Shithouse XI gameweek 13 line-up


Jedinak – As I previously said, Mile seems to be having a very good season (if you ignore the red card a few gameweeks ago) and he has managed to double his goal tally for the entire season last season in just 12 matches this season. For this reason, we have decided to remove him from our line-up for now to stop him causing us any more heartache…


Gardner – In comes Craig Gardner of West Brom who has a total of 25 points to show for his entire season. He has only missed 101 minutes of football in 12 matches and since after gameweek 1, he has not scored a points tally higher than 3. Due to his amount of playing time and lack of points, he is a perfect fit for out Shithouse XI set up.

In a last ditch effort to put faith in our strikers, I have handed Lukas the armband for his fixture at home to Aston Villa. We have our fingers crossed that he will play at least a large chunk of the match and will return a low points tally in the process.

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