Shithouse XI – Game-Week 3

Game-week three is upon us and FPL managers are starting to take note of their team’s form. If you are in the top 3-400,000, you’re not doing too badly. In the top 50,000? You should be very pleased. How about being 2,903,382nd overall like these shithousers? It’s time to review game-week 2:

GW2 Result

This bunch as a team are in the bottom 6% of all FPL players. Let’s not forget that there are new FPL players just starting out every week and this team is still that low. They are also now ranked at 920th out of 925 in the FPL_Updates league. Can it get much worse? I imagine it will for this lot…


Green – Usually automatic substitutions are a blessing but this one not so much. Green played the full 90 minutes but conceded 4 goals, resulting in 0 fantasy football points.


Amat – Jordi is our big point scorer this week after keeping a clean sheet against Burnley and keeping his place in the Swansea starting XI.

Onuoha – Nedum made his first appearance of the season, coming on at half time in place of Richard Dunne. Fortunately for him, the damage had already been done and Spurs only managed to add 1 extra goal in the second half.

Brown – Wes played the full 90 minutes but as the Black Cats failed to keep a clean sheet thanks to a certain Juan Mata, the 2 fantasy football points for playing over 60 minutes is all that he was rewarded with. Brown attempted several longer passes forward with 7 of them failing to reach the intended man.

Smalling – Chris Smalling suffered an injury 43 minutes into the match and therefore takes a single fantasy football point from his visit to Sunderland. However, during his time on the pitch, he managed to have a fairly good game according to statistics. His only fall-down is his aerial battles where he has lost out in both of his attempts.


Cattermole – Cattermole has surprised us once again by taking away at least 2 points from a match. He has now gone two whole games without a booking this season. I know it is an obvious stat but can you believe it?!

Wanyama – Wanyama helped himself to a clean sheet bonus point to add to his standard 2 points for playing, as Southampton saw out a 0-0 draw with West Brom. Victor Wanyama didn’t have a bad game, earning his team 5 free-kicks by drawing in fouls.

Jedinak – Mile Jedinak matched half of his entire assist tally for last season this game-week as he helped Chamakh claim a consolation goal against West Ham. Without this, he would have finished the game-week on 1 point after picking up a yellow card. His poor pass completion rate continues as he only successfully completed around two thirds of his passes, a slight improvement on game-week one but still not quite up to scratch!

Cleverley – Tom Cleverley. Named in the side, did nothing spectacular. 90 minutes played & a yellow card results in 1 fantasy football point for Tom. His heat-map shows he covered various locations on the pitch during the 90 minutes, and when he did drop in to help out at left-back, he was more of a hindrance, losing out in 2 tackling attempts, failing a clearance and committing a foul.


Soldado – Roberto Soldado is the unfavoured striker at Spurs at the moment and he was only given an 11 minute appearance at the weekend, once the game was already done and dusted at 4-0.

Altidore – As Poyet said, Altidore needs to improve his fitness and form if he is to have any chance at challenging Wickham & Fletcher for the starting XI positions. Gus stuck to his word & Jozy was given just 14 minutes on the pitch.


Now that game-week 2 is fully reviewed and wrapped up, how are we setting up for game-week 3 I hear you ask? Well here it is, our game-week 3 SHITHOUSE XI:



Altidore – Due to Gus Poyet’s comments, we have removed Altidore from the squad for the time being. As you may remember from our first SHITHOUSE XI article, Jozy has every right to be in that squad after only scoring twice in the league in 60 appearances to date (1 for Hull & 1 for Sunderland).


Vaz Te – The last time Ricardo Vaz Te featured more consistently in the Premier League was two seasons ago, when he registered 24 appearances and averaging 66 minutes of game time in each match. Throughout that season, he averaged just under 3 points a game. Whilst Andy Carroll is out, it seems Vaz Te is favoured by Big Sam this season and has completed 157 mins from the first two game-weeks. We back him to pick up where he left off 2 seasons ago and continue his poor collection of points. Welcome to the team Ricardo!

To give Vaz Te a chance, we have given him the armband this week. Feel free to prove us wrong Ricardo! If Big Sam decides not to choose him, we have lined up Cattermole as our vice. Surprisingly, the Sunderland midfielder has been linked with price rising recently. Don’t be fooled FPL managers, you should all know he is a card magnet by now!

As much as we like some of these players, the majority of them hardly ever bring in the fantasy points & that justifies their presence in our team. If you have anyone in mind that you think we haven’t considered, feel free to tweet us at @Fpl_updates.

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