Shithouse XI – Game-week 9

Game-week 9 was full of big fantasy football point scorers, with a lot of players relying on their vice captain after Costa was ruled out of the game against Crystal Palace. Thanks to those big points, the average score was a high 49 points. Despite scoring a goal and managing a clean sheet, as well as only having 1 player who didn’t play at all, the shithouse XI managed to score under half of that average. This is how they ended up:


Slotting in close to the 3.17 millionth rank for game-week 8, these guys ended up with 24 points and ranked 1,069th in the @Fpl_updates league. Funnily enough, there are actually 6 FPL managers below this team. If you guys are reading this, you should be ashamed! Although this was a great week for shithouse, it surprisingly could have been so much better…


Krul – Krul stepped in for the out-of-action Rob Green and unfortunately for us, Newcastle managed to keep their first clean sheet since game-week 2, resulting in a total of 6 points for Tim. That means we are already a quarter of the way to our points tally for the game-week with this one player!


Ferdinand – Rio decided to take the week off and our new signing didn’t feature in QPR’s dramatic 3-2 loss to Liverpool. In last week’s article, we stated that we needed to get a QPR defender in to reflect their poor form of late and it is somewhat frustrating that we had our pick of QPR defenders and 2 of them managed own goals. The silver lining to this is that Cresswell was transferred out and he managed to assist a goal in West Ham’s win over Burnley!

Davies – Arsenal fought back to draw 2-2 with Hull, resulting in a single point for Curtis due to conceding 2 goals. That will do nicely!

Brown – Sunderland were smashed 8-0 by Southampton and we had Wes Brown. The negative to this story is that he was taken off at half-time and therefore only conceded 3 of the 8, resulting in just the 1 minus point. Therefore, consistent shithouser Wes finished the game-week on 0 points.


Cattermole – Lee adds a single point to this game-week, picking up a yellow card in what we can only assume must have been a tackle of frustration due to their 8-0 defeat. Keep doing what you’re doing Lee, you’ve only got a visit from Arsenal coming up next…

Cleverley – Everton were comfortable 3-0 winners over Aston Villa and young Tom did nothing to shout & scream about yet again, resulting simply in 2 points.

Wanyama – Victor scores his second goal of the season and brings a massive 6 points to the table this game-week. We would have surely been expecting too much if we expected Wanyama not to score when his team go on to win 8-0 no?

Jedinak – Crystal Palace put up a fight against Chelsea and looking promising on the counter but Mile Jedinak was not involved in anything Palace did (strictly fantasy football speaking) and therefore he too managed the standard 2 points only.


Wickham – Connor came in for Tiote in our team and we simply couldn’t have any complaints. Sunderland couldn’t manage to do anything and Connor was booked, meaning he adds just a single point to our game-week tally.

Nugent – Unfortunately for us, but I guess reflective of his form lately, David didn’t start the game at windy Newcastle. He did however come on in the 56th minute once the game was finally kicked off at 4pm after the big screen re-secured. The result? a point. David did nothing as usual and confirms he still has what it takes to be in the shithouse XI.

Jutkiewicz – Lukas was subbed off soon after the 60 minute mark which was a brave move by Dyche as it was soon after Burnley got themselves back into the game. Lukas however was not involved in the goal for Burnley and therefore he left the field having only notched up the 2 points for playing.


We have gone for a no-transfer game-week this week as our team seems to be performing as we expect. Wanyama surely can’t add more to his goal tally…


As our only changes, we have opted for Krul in goal this week and Williamson in the back line as we imagine Tottenham will score a couple at least. In order to balance out our cruelness, we have given Cleverley the responsibility of captaincy. Can he prove us wrong and make us pay against QPR this weekend?

You may also like...