SHITHOUSE XI – Gameweek 31

Gameweek 30 boasted a very high scoring week for the majority Of fantasy football players. The average score demonstrated this notion with a whopping 58 points. We are happy to say that the Shithouse XI are 20+ points behind that figure. However, we did not reach our target of 27 points. Instead, the new transfer relished his chance and as a result, the Shithouse XI finished on 37 points. Here is how the team did:


In contrast to last week, the majority of our points stemmed from our fierce striking duo. Thankfully, the rest did not let us down. G’won lads.


Green – Back in the team with a bang. His name is Green, he can’t keep a clean (sheet). 1 point.


Ward – Despite winning in a feisty affair at The Britannia, Ward did not keep a clean sheet, ideal for the Shithouse XI.

Morgan – Can you believe it? Our reliable centre back has double crossed us. Ah, maybe we’re being a bit too harsh, we’ll let him off if he scores 2 own goals next gameweek. Down to you now Wes.

Brown – There’s not much point commenting on this one anymore. However, I’m worried. Wes is injured for next gameweek, our guaranteed 1 point has gone. We wish you a speedy recovery Browno. #PrayForWes

Caulker – Home. Away. Even in different galaxies, it is a cert that QPR will concede. 1 point for Steven.


Gardner – Saturday just wasn’t the Baggies day. Honestly, you could have counted how many times Craig touched the ball on one hand.

Cleverley – First Wes, now Tom. Our Shithouse XI top performers are dropping like flies. Due to an injury Tom picked up in the first half against Swansea, he will be unavailable for the upcoming gameweek. *sigh*

Livermore – Despite a valiant effort at the KC stadium, Hull and Livermore came out the game with nothing to show for it. 2 points.

Jones – As expected, the Saints disposed of Burnley with a comfortable 2-0 victory. The captaincy meant Jones scored 4 points. Good lad.


Diouf – Stoke’s only shining light during this lacklustre defeat at home was Mame’s positive contribution. Let’s hope this isn’t a rise in form because we are keeping him in the first team.

Vardy – So we made one substitution last week, Jamie was brought into the team with very high expectation. Some predicted a 1 point total after 90 minutes. The result was the other end of the scale. With a massive 11 points, Jamie happily wrote off all of his critics, including us.

Gameweek 31:

The Shithouse XI has had to make a few fundamental changes, not just to the line up, but also to our tactical formation. Now playing a 4-5-1, Davies as well as N’Zonzi come off the bench for their first starts in a while. There are also 2 transfers and a captaincy change.


Players out:

Brown – As I’ve already said, Wes is out for a number of weeks #PrayForWes. So we thought, wouldn’t it be fitting if we transferred him out, and brought in his identical twin?… 

Cleverley – Yet another injury disrupting the Shithouse XI. Let’s hope Tom is fit soon for another call up.

Players in:

O’Shea – Brought in to do the exact same job as Wes, concede goals.

Meyler – Hull have been struggling lately, Meyler seems a perfect choice for a transfer this gameweek.

Captaincy goes to a player who may be full of confidence after his goal last week. Stoke travel to Stamford Bridge, and we think Mame is the right man for job.



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