Amazing, another superbly awful Fantasy Premier League gameweek was played out by my 11 extremely talentless FPL players. With a total gameweek 13 point score of 29, which is a whopping 26 points below the weeks average, the team dropped a further 29 thousand places. My Global Rank is now 3,375,837 putting me in the bottom 5 percentile of this great game! What a brilliant way to start gameweek 14!
Ruddy – Ruddy isn’t doing too well for me since his introduction a few weeks back. After a Clean Sheet last week it was his 6 saves this week that accumulated 4 points, he’s on monitor.
Huth – Clean Sheets at Leicester are becoming more frequent and it’s a worry for my Leicester pair of Schmeichel and Huth. Huth is trying his best however as he picked up a yellow card and no bonus points meaning a score of 5 points is just about tolerable.
Bassong – Likewise, Bassong also picked up a yellow card yet conceded too providing a lovely 1 point for the team.
Hutton – Alan Hutton, what a legend. Played 90 minutes and picked up zero points. This is how it’s done guys! Take note.
Cook – Conceded 2 goals against Swansea and failed to return any attacking points so a 1 point contribution was the result.
van Aanholt – A rare Sunderland clean sheet came in the last game of the gameweek as Crystal Palace failed to hit the back of the Sunderland net. 6 points for the Dutchman
Total Defensive Points – 13!
Captain Lucas – My new addition of the team last week was given the armband and he didn’t let me down. He played 90 minutes, conceded a goal and picked up a yellow card, top marks!
Coquelin – Fans of 3C (Colback, Coquelin & Cattermole) will be heartbroken as they lose their main man, Francis Coquelin to injury. That along with Colback being out of action means the 3 C’s are now 1 C, which is a disaster for the Shithouse Group.
Sánchez – Played half of the game and was absent for the duration, he may as well of stayed on the bus, great job Carlos!
Cattermole – Lee was back in full swing and with that, did nothing. A clean sheet point was added to his sorryfull standard 2 points.
Rooney – With injuries to Agbonlahor and Rooney, Okazaki came into the team and only went onto score! Terrible news as the Japanese Striker scores his first goal since August.
Now onto this week:
Agbonlahor has been removed due to injury and in comes Ayew.
Captain – My captain this week will be the, usually terrible, Sebastien Bassong!
By Matty Kaye