Gameweek 4 continued in the same vain as Gameweek 3 as the SHITHOUSE XI dominance to doom reaches an all-time low, or high, depending on your angle. 23 points was returned which was amazing considering the average for the gameweek was 43. Even more encouraging was the fact that 14 of my 15 players played a part so we can really concentrate the transfers now on bringing in the worst players the game has to offer. The total rank (3,256,875) is now over the 3 million mark putting these bunch in the top 98.5%. Let’s talk through the points of the week before the reveal of the s**t gameweek 5 squad you are likely to see.
Here’s how the SHITHOUSE XI looked at the end of the week:
Gomes (1): My Gomes and Jakupovic rotation is a beautiful sight as it was the Watford man’s turn to concede again.
Robertson (2): A couple of points for the Tiger is easing my initial fear of a Hull City’s defensive dominance.
Djilobodji (1): A single for Diji Biji, or whatever he is called. RESULT!
Lowton (2): Burnley concede in the dying minutes and although it was tears for my personal team it was jubilation of the SHITHOUSE XI.
Total Defensive Points: 6!
Barry (3): Sunderland made Everton look like world beaters meaning Barry could stroll to 3 points.
Gueye (5): As above, but this time Gueye had to get in the mix with a cheeky assist!
Dier (3): 3 points for Dier, his highest return of the season. Where has his violent streak gone!
Gooch (1): A single point for Gooch as he was taken off before the 60 minute mark. Poor Gooch…
Yacob (2): Another shithouser who is living up to last season’s bad boy’s antics as he ended up in the ref’s pocket again. One point doubled is two!
Ulloa (1): A player continuing his form from last season of s**t sub comes on for a single point.
Diomande (2): Unexpected game time to be honest, but that may decrease with Mbokani’s arrival.
The Bench – Francis picks up a cleanie on the bench, in the last sub spot. Great place for players like that.
Now onto this week and here is how the SHITHOUSE XI line up:
Gueye (OUT) -> Coquelin (IN) – Gueye is gone as two Everton midfielders seems risky with their recent form, in comes last year’s favourite, Francis Coquelin.
Kabasele (OUT) -> Fernandez (IN) – Kabasele makes way due to his threat of zero game time and in comes Fernandez of Swansea who is simply terrible.
The armband duties go to Simon Francis away to the inform Manchester City.
Good Luck all and save those Reds for me!
Written by Matty Kaye