Wow, another super impressive round from the SHITHOUSE XI! Who would of thought that Gareth Barry would have been the teams highest scorer, more than double any other player in my team, including the captain! A total of 17 FPL points was achieved, where the average was a massive 31 more, at 48 points. This amazing week put the SHITHOUSE XI at a whopping 3.4m rank overall, glowing red arrows glisten from the FPL points page and we are already lower in rank than last season!
Let’s look at the performances of each player before taking you through the SHITHOUSE XI changes ahead of gameweek 6.
Gomes (2) – Watford continue to leak goals despite scoring many and Gomes was the right choice this week with Jakupovic relegated to the bench.
Robertson (0) – The first of 3 of my defenders to pick up zero points. 4 goals conceded to Arsenal was perfect for us!
(C) Francis (0) – The beauty of zero is that when you double it, it doesn’t change, meaning another defender conceding 4 goals provides sweet nothing.
Djilobodji (1) – Sunderland nearly embarrassed Spurs with a well fought battle, yet a goal conceded was a welcome relief for the SHITHOUSE XI.
Lowton (0) – Another blank from Lowton, as he picked up a booking and conceded 3 goals, amazing!
Fernandez (2) – Swansea kept a tight back line for the majority of the game, but it was Tadic and Austin that ruined the party, 2 points!
Total Defensive Points – An all time record, 5 points!
Coquelin (2) – He’s back in the team and back with a bang, 2 points from the Arsenal bad boy!
Yacob (2) – Becoming a cult SHITHOUSE hero with his meaningless performances, from an FPL point of view anyway.
Barry (6) – When the other 10 players score 11 points, we’ll allow Gareth to score, especially as he found himself in the referee’s book too!
Diomande (1) – Hull were shocking and so was this lad!
Vokes (1) – Burnley, just like the last time they were in this league, simply cannot score!
2 players not featuring is a worry so one will go this week.
So onto gameweek 6 we go, with a lot of potentially high scoring games on offer, here is how we line up:
Gooch OUT -> Fellaini IN – With 3 yellow cards in a row, this is the perfect home for the clumsy Belgian.
Robertson faces a trip to Liverpool where Bobby Firmino and crew will surely score a couple!
Good luck all, and save those red arrows for me!
Written by Matty Kaye