SHITHOUSE XI – Gameweek 34

Ah, we were so confident this gameweek. A massive three of our starting 11 didn’t even play. But, of course, a few selfish Shithouse players decided to ruin our party. Despite this, it’s not as bad as one first thought. The boys recorded a score of 35 points, 3 lower than the average.


Green, Zamora and our inspired transfer Ideye all didn’t play. It was going to go one of two ways; a standard 2 points all round, or the Shithouse XI would relish their chance to bury their namesake. Unfortunately for us it was the latter.


Green – Guys, can you believe it? Rob didn’t concede this weekend. Good on him. Ha.


Morgan – Wes doesn’t stop impressing. Leicester’s resurgence in form hasn’t just stemmed from their exciting attacking play, this solid centre back has impressively proved his footballing prowess on the biggest stage. Fair play Morgs. Oh, and he got an assist. 11 points!

Ward – Suprisingly, Palace were victim to a resilient Albion performance. 2 goals conceded and a clean sheet for the baggies implicated a mere 1 point for Wardy. In hindsight, I’m quite glad Ideye didn’t get a run out.

Shawcross – The Britannia proving a fortress once again after a solid win for Stoke. However, no clean sheet for Ryan and his pals.


N’Zonzi – We have to admit, we’ve given Steven a lot of stick in recent weeks. And until now, he has been reciprocating. This time however Steven received 6 points. 90 minutes played AND an assist. Damn.

Gardner – Once again, we’re annoyed. We threatened to transfer Gary the last two weeks but remained certain he wouldn’t deliver over and over again. There goes my footballing knowledge, 7 points for the midfielding maestro.

Song – A new addition to the Shithouse starting XI did well for us. A terrible performance by mid table Hammers against out of form Man City meant the ex Barcelona holding midfielder scored only 2 points.

Jones – I like Jones, I like Jones a lot. Has David ever let us down? Superb captain. Class from the leader.


Ideye – Brown picked up an injury a few days prior to the Baggies trip to Palace. Frustrating.

Vardy – Form is temporary, class is permanent. 2 points.

Gameweek 34:

Four teams including Leicester and Hull have a double gameweek. Therefore we have made three changes to the starting line up. O’Shea and Caulker come off the bench whilst Cattermole has been transferred in for Livermore. A traditional 4-4-2 formation used for the Shithouse XI.


Player in:

Cattermole – Lee comes in for an away day to Stoke. Scored about one goal in 4 years and he also loves getting a card or two. Yeehaa.

Player out:

Livermore – We can’t ignore a double gameweek. Double points must be avoided at all costs. Maybe we will see you soon, Jake.


Jones – Jones gets the captain’s armband once again after a number a shoddy performances. We have faith in you.

Aaron Cottrell


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