This is part 2 of the first S**thouse XI of the 2017/18 season, as in the first episode we saw the S**thouse XI H2H competitor, @FPL_Junior make his first stab at creating 15 players of low expectations. If you missed that article, click here.
Without further ado, let’s take a look at the S**thouse XI:
Stoke City rotates terribly with Burnley so this forms the first rotating pair of James Tarowski (Michael Keane’s replacement), and Kurt Zouma who should be nailed on. This gives a player playing against the following from gameweek 1-6; Chelsea, Arsenal, Tottenham, Manchester United, Everton and Manchester City. This rotation is so good that it is also being used for the keepers, in a duo of Tom Heaton and Jack Butland.
Another deadly rotation is the pairing of Brighton and Leicester who when combined together provide this evil run; Manchester City, Leicester, Manchester United, Chelsea, Bournmouth, Liverpool, Arsenal and Everton! The two players who’ve made the cut are Danny Simpson and Lewis Dunk.
This leaves one more defender that will be able to cover the rotating pair number 2 in gameweek 5 when 3 of the mentioned teams play Bournemouth, Newcastle or Huddersfield, albeit all away from home. This player needs to be solid and a nailed on starter, so I have turned to Swansea City. With games against Southampton, Manchester United and Tottenham in the first 5 games, with the additional obvious fact they are perfect for the Shithouse XI, in comes Federico Fernandez.
With that defence, the opening 8 gameweeks results in a back 4 with the following fixtures:
GW1: Chelsea (A), Man City (H) & Arsenal (A)
GW2: Arsenal (H), Manchester United (H) & Leicester (A)
GW3: Tottenham (A), Manchester United (A) & Crystal Palace (A)
GW4: Chelsea (A), Manchester United (H) & Crystal Palace (H)
GW5: Liverpool (A), Tottenham (A), Bournemouth (A)
GW6: Liverpool (H), Chelsea (H) & Watford (H)
GW7: Arsenal (A), Everton (A), Southampton (H)
GW8: Everton (H), West Ham (H), Man City (A)
Now onto the Midfield and first of all, let’s bring back the regulars from last season. Claudio Yacob, Granit Xhaka and Idrissa Gueye earn a spot based on last year’s performances in the Shithouse XI, leaving two more places left. Harry Arter had 11 yellow cards last season so he is straight in. Finally, attention turns to Newcastle and an old favourite, Jack Colback comes in.
Forwards now and this is always the hardest position to call due most sides only having one recognised striker who is usually the forefront of the goals. Attention needs to turn to those who are unlikely to score too many or those that may play the supporting role, so may not be getting all the goals!
With the injury to Llorente it means that Tammy Abraham can be brought in for the first 2 games at least (Southampton & Man United), which are against arguably 2 of the best defences in the league. Okaka is up next and with a tough start, hopefully he will do very little! That leaves my final player, a player who I was very fond of in my record seasons last year, so Sam Vokes makes the front 3 complete.
This is Draft 1, the final draft for both teams will follow next week.
Written by Matty Kaye (@FPL_vs)